Updated: Nov 4, 2020
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
Deep water scares me.
I am not certain when this unease was birthed but it has plagued me for as long as I can remember. I think it is the fear of the unknown, what's underneath, where I cannot see.
Still, that which I cannot see, I make up for in my imagination: fierce sharks in hungry pursuit being the most haunting. Despite the insecurity, I do live on an island, so I swim well enough to be able to save myself.
A friend was dying of cancer.
She refused treatment, believing for supernatural healing. She was a woman marked for her great faith and consistent prayer life. We stood with her, in expectation of a miracle.
I spent time with her close to the end. I sat and sang to her, she said she always loved my voice. In her pain, she joined me in song....
"As deep cries out to deep
My soul cries out to YOU
Here on my knees,
Sitting at Your feet, I worship You..."
A few weeks before, this would have frightened me. I confided in a friend, "l know I'm supposed to be there with her but I am afraid I will say or do the wrong thing.
What if I am not a comfort?
What if I make an already uncomfortable situation awkward?"
She told me, "You know you are just going to have to dive in!" I knew it, too. So I did, bringing meals for her family, spending time just holding her hand, praying.
I dove in and went deep.
It was awkward at first, but then I found a place to be where I could provide a level of comfort for someone soon to be home with Jesus. What perspective she gave me.
...and the things of earth Will grow strangely dim In the light of His glory and grace...
She and her husband slow-danced one last time as he held her up.
She later died, holding his hand.
God didn't want me to just be "able to save myself." He bids me come into the deep of peoples' lives, when I would rather keep them at bay "respecting their privacy". He calls me into the "ugly" and the "messy" when I would much rather view their lives as wrapped with a pretty bow, nice and neat. Painlessly perfect.
Does fear of the deep water of life keep you wading safely on the shoreline?
Does the uneasiness of what's beneath the mess and ugly of people's lives stop you from being that hand of comfort and that voice of hope?
Friends, come through the shallow and dive in.
Go deep, even if you can't see what's underneath.
Trust the God of the unknown.
He will help you as you navigate torrents of the mess and the ugly to become a lifesaver for those drowning in the deep of it all.